Sunday, December 1, 2013
We often wonder what it would be like to see ourselves in the future, but how would we really respond in the moment if it were possible? This is something I wish I could've experienced when I was 16 years of age, some 20 years ago...maybe it would've been the difference in my life that was missing at the time. Let's experiment with my reality anyway as Tim(36) speaks to Tim(16). 36: Hey kid, is you name Tim? 16: Yeah, who are you? 36: Would you believe it if I told you that I'm you in 20 years? 16: I doubt that! 36: Well, I am and I have a few words for you. 16: About what? 36: About how you threw away my youth. 16: How could I have done that if you're me? 36: The things that you did yesterday makes me have to deal with it today. 16: What's that suppose to mean? 36: I've done 20 years in prison... 5 more even before I can see the parole board and then it's not a guarantee that I'll ever see the streets again. Everything I do is by rules and regulations... as a man I can't do nothing without permission, and the only real fabric of life I have is through my worship and loved one's... otherwise in this place they don't even consider me a human being. 16: That's cold. 36: I've had to live with all the sad memories of seeing that young mans mother and looking into her eyes, while knowing that I'd taken her son and couldn't ever give him back to her... then seeing the tears in my mothers eyes over the fact that her own son had been the one who'd taken the life of another human being. 16: Hold up, I killed someone? 36: Absolutely... 16: For what? 36: The truth is... it doesn't matter why?... You had a chance to avoid it all, but in your immaturity and lack of control with your anger, you responded and it changed the lives of everyone he knew and everyone you knew. 16: I'm sorry to hear that. 36: You should be, because it's your fault!!! You have no idea what it's been like to have to teach yourself how to be a man, and to have integrity, and not to be influenced by your environment through books you've read... then being strong enough to apply what you learned because it's right. 16: Do you think I meant for you to go to prison? 36: No, I think that if you'd really known what that night would've brought about you probably would've never done it. I believe you were a good kid, but somehow you made a major lack of judgement and it can never be erased. 16: I don't feel so good all of a sudden. 36: Yeah, I know... but it's just something you really needed to hear. 16: Damn man. 36: Don't beat yourself up kid... I've learned from your mistakes and made the necessary changes to be more of a resource in society and not a horrible hinderance. 16: What can I do to hel? 36: Just continue to listen and I'll take care of the rest. 16: Why did you come so late? 36: I didn't know that I could find you this way, but that's no excuse for not finding the proper guidance in your life through those that were always there for you. 16: I see what you're saying, but I have a few questions? 36: What's that? 16: Will you make a difference in this world? 36: Of course... every person I've met and everything I've done has been genuine. I've shared so much love and hope with others that it's practically making huge differences in their lives as I speak... not to mention in my own. 16: How do you know for sure? 36: I see it in their eyes, in the things that they do, in the ways that they speak, in the kind ways that they smile and just in the ways of them being happy... not only because of something I've shared with them, but also because they've seen me grow into the person I am today. 16: And who is that? 36: A man who loves because it's his strength... who stands alone as the gift that God blesses me to be in this world... who is satisfied in doing what is right and not ever needing anything in return because of it. 16: So you're not afraid to be vulnerable? 36: I didn't say that, but at the same time... how can anyone really know who I am if I'm guarded. 16: What are three good reasons why someone would love being your friend? 36: Because I'm loyal, sincere, and supportive 16: Okay... what makes you exceptional? 36: The fact that I've been through alot, but still manage to have a positive attitude and concern for others without hestitation and also the fact that I'm willing to sacrifice my life if I can help save someone else's... makes me exceptional!!! 16: You're interesting... I have one last question? 36: What is it? 16: You say I killed a young man and you've served so much time in prison for it... What will be your legacy? or should I say my legacy? 36: Honestly... you have left an impact on alot of people's lives and you've hurt them deeply, but today no matter what the past has been, I'm here to tell you that the legacy written will be in the love that I continue to share with the world regardless of where I am or what I'm going through. You cannot change the past, but I can change what is the present moving into the future. God bless you kid... 16: Hey wait a minute... Where are you going? 36: I can't stay here with you, but in time learn all you can, surround yourself with positive people, and follow your dreams... I'm sure that we'll meet again. 16: I'll be looking forward to it. If you have viewed this piece... I want you to consider how easy it is for people to take so many things for granted and not ever realize it until something out of the ordinary happens and it changes our lives forever. Cherish life because it's meaningful and share it with the people you love and the people who need to be loved. Timothy Morgan #275295 GBCI/ P.O. Box 19033 Green Bay, WI 54307
Friday, October 18, 2013
Today is pivotal, because it becomes the first and can very well be the last.... so the past is only existing in it's memory and the future has yet to be awakened. Enjoy being alive without taking it for granted... but do not stress over doing everything at once, choose what's most important and embrace it... then if tomorrow should be given, do another thing that's most important and so forth, because before you know it you would have witnessed life through the most important aspects... not caring about the superficial. Today has much beauty, but how are we learning and if God is the best of examples teaching by his creations...why do we disagree? I am a Christian, I am a Muslim, I am a Jew, I am a Hindu, I am white, I am black, I am latino, I am asian, I am this and I am that... I have principles that I expect to be followed but I don't follow them myself. I have expectations of love, but I do not give love myself. I have brains to think, but I'd rather not understand a thing. I judge because of differences, but I do not want to be judged. I live only to become a status and not a human being. My family is blood related, but I have no idea who they really are. I stare in the face of death by the things that I do, but when death finally raises it's eyes to look back I'm terrified of losing my life. Fear sometimes overtakes me, but then I realize that someone has to change the world. When will we decide that such a someone will be us? Thank you for your attention... If you are interested in talking about anything whoever you are this is where you'll find me: Timothy Morgan #275295 GBCI/ P.O. Box 19033 Green Bay, WI 54307
Friday, August 30, 2013
God's presence and power!!! We often speak on how much trust is put in him, but have we shared that caring, understanding and support from our hearts? Because it's our human nature and nothing more? In truth, we have been hypocrites in many ways. Not nearly close as friends or even neighbors on this planet, but very quick enemies and chosen strangers offering the harsh realities of malice in attitude and a bloodshed with violence. Programmed, motivated and inspired in the causes of the gun all across the world...but even more so, right here in our streets, businesses, homes and schools of these United States of America. Why? It seems as if it's become the most meaningful course of action to take with a display of emphasis..equivalent to the ideas of a wild wild western novel...isn't that something to think about? When will the evasiveness of responsibilities toward looking at the true state of these "dysfunctions" at it's core stop? We're not just following those "high-end" psychological analysis on various issues any longer. Let us look at ourselves as families, communities and races!!! In family there's the heirarchy that regulates from grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins and extended relatives through marriage. All of which is suppose to operate in the order of love and equality...However, there exists the presentation of selfish complexities that arises constantly. It is the duties of the knowledgeable to direct the impressionable with a moral compass and substance, but if it is done so by force and not of understanding, what is the lession??? That force is power!! Not right or wrong...but force!! So, as one goes out to interact with the rest of society the belief that whenever things aren't going our way we can incorporate force and make it otherwise. In community there's the developing regularity that anyone not of "that" community will be automatically looked at in suspicion to the possiblities of anything negative, instead of building a positive introduction about that person. Each neighborhood will block themselves off by lifestyles, attitudes and classes as a way of defining who we believe are more likeable than the rest in society and begin imitating the lessons of superficial and materialitsic values. "If you're not in my group" you're despicable kind of thinking. In race, there's the cultural and obvious differences of appearances, but the misconception and sick notion that either is better is simply because of what they look like and therefore creating this absurd competion of showcasing as if we're in a full on mating ritual of some sort. LOL It's really crazy once you think about it. To conclude...what are the "ghetto's" and the "boardwalks"? How do you see yourself in it? Are you really who you feel you've been? Is there a deeper calling surfacing in your spirit, leading you to the journey's of unanswered questions? The desire to be "noble" as the odds have been stacked against you in many endeavors? What are your thoughts about seeing systems put in place that emphasize only material success and de-emphasize their methods which serves to justify what takes place in the name of law and order, education, economics and lastly religion? Separatism through levels of continued classism? What roles do you enjoin with the acceptance of false advertisements of equal opportunity? What examples will you live by to rise above dismay? Will you become responsible for all children even when most of their own parents have not? Will you invest in the talents of all communities even if no one else cares to? Will you advocate love and prove to all communities that together we're the richest resource on the planet contrary to the stereotypes? Will you become a "nobody" and hate everyting about the world not knowing any better? Or worse, will you only follow your dreams become "somebody" and jus forget about everyone else? This should be a very great dialogue:) Thanks for participating...
Monday, August 26, 2013
I have prepared this particular discourse hoping to open a bridge of understanding about issues of many that should be handled in much more proper ways than they've been thus far. Now, I shall only assume that because you are not personally subjected to the experience of this prison situation...recognizing the magnitude of humiliation and it's psychological damages would come as an unforseen mystery, but trust me...friends, families and strangers....had you experienced this personally, I do believe that your rationale would be of a completely different mind set than it has been up to this point. Am I correct?! There are outstanding amounts of behavior that border on the extreme and very unprofessional and can almost certainly more often than not create a risk to the order of the prison systems themselves. The standards practiced are very inconsistent and let me just say without getting too vulgar here, that "defecating and having enough wiping materials is perpetuated as if it's a priviledge and not a human right." One does not correct the "criminal" thought process by agitating the person or person's to rebel against an enforced order of authority to justify it's abuse or worse yet drive people to suicide...believe me it's very much real and it continues to light the fire underneath those who are helpless in their spirits nevertheless, but even for those of us who have found God wholeheartedly in our lives...we are challenged to the core in such ways that only God's love and mercy is keeping us upright and steadfast by his will. Imagine yourselves in a closet pantry at your home and in that pantry, there's a toilet and sink almost adjoined above it...then a steel bunk only an arm distance away with an inch thick foan mattress covered in colored plastic...now put two people inside the pantry with no idea of what the other is thinking and having to trust that you can close your eyes long enough to sleep or get an understanding amongst strangers. Imagine having to do everything abnormally fast or otherwise not be able to do it at all. For instance like the simple task of eating. How unhealthy is it to the digestive system to literally stuff half chewed foods down your throat to beat the meal stoppage time, which is a matter of minutes?! Every possible avenue being targeted to specifically suppress any social qulities that might be beneficial for you in the future if you're fortunate to have one. Treated like the mistake that you made and not a person...What do you become??? Any sane person would rather live in a dog kennel and be free, than to be treated like tortured livestock hoping for slaughter just to end it's misery. I've told you to imagine, but guess what?! To really have to go through this as once a teenage for numerous years is much more terrifying than having to imagine, because it's real!!! The officials you've entrusted to the correction and preperation of prisoner's for possible release have let you down in large fashion. It's all a pay check and many prisoner's end up getting out far worse than when they've come in because of it. There are many who have been an exception to the rule though and that's got alot to do with learning all they could through self studies, spiritual studies and the blessings of having wholesome human interaction with the people of society who haven't lost hope, who forgive, and who teach by the examples of love because it's the right thing to do. Please, do not negate yourselves by being misinformed otherwise it continues to fuel the stereotypes that eventually push for new laws to be created, that eventaully yourselves or your children may some day be oppressed with. Remember that we're all only human and all make mistakes, but then again what do I know? In your eyes, I might very well be just another opportunistic criminal with a hidden agenda... or maybe your eyes have not been as observant as you'd like to believe they have been? Good question...I assure that I'm not, but I'll leave you with this old age saying "Don't judge a book if it has yet to be completed, because there's always room for change on what's left of it's pages". Thanks very much for listening.
Women of the world, Hello...It's only me so fret not. I've pictured love in my mind that I only pray all of you will experience in your lives some day. It goes beyond your curves for the purpose of sex, touching you with only mind blowing chemistry. Proceeding for one phenominal build up and making the wait so much more desireable and deserving. To be ravished in ways that I doubt you can imagine, but you kind of get the picture. Tinkle throughout your spine. LOL Anyway, it's important to be known because when love is involved who wants to be hurt? This is what happens though when you just randomly act on sex because it's there, misunderstanding the connection. Is it worth being too adventurous if it's risking your virtue as women? Let alone risking some kind of potention infections? It's natural for "it" to get wet, no doubt it's not a question. But there's really other suggestions...wait a minute!!! So, are you saying that I should self explore? Hey, all I'm saying is that, if you're looking for love let love be bigger than sex, because if sex is bigger than love there goes that relationship. To conclude...There is love for all of you who know how to command it properly. Be strong, be modest, and never settle for an ass because you can't stand to be alone. They always break hearts, never thinking to nourish them. But if you like having that kind of drama in your life... How can anyone question your taste?! Something to think about.
Monday, August 12, 2013
ENCLOSED WITHIN A ROOM EXPOSED TO A NIGHTMARE, SCRATCHES ON THE WALL TO IDENTIFY THE BEGINNING OF MY UNFORTUNATE FALL AS AN ADOLESCENT TO THE MOMENT OF MY LIFE WHERE I HAVE RISEN AS A MAN. THIS IS ONE EXPERIENCE THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET!!! NOW, WHAT DO YOU CALL THE DIAGNOSIS FOR A MIND THAT CAN'T SEE, OBVIOUSLY THE FIGURE OF A BRAIN THAT WON'T THINK...CAGE ME IN A FUNNEL WHERE THE LIVING IS NOT PEACE, BUT EXPECT ME TO ACCEPT ALL THE THINGS THAT'S NOT ME.. SPEECHES COMING FROM A WORLD THAT'S PRETENDING TO BE CIVILIZED, AND YET I'M PORTRAYED AS THE SAVAGE... THEY ALWAYS SAID THAT WORDS CAN PAINT A THOUSAND PICTURES, BUT WHO'S PAYING ATTENTION TO THE LITERAL AND NOT THE ALLUSION OF ALLEGORY??? SLIGHT RAISE OF HANDS IF YOU FOLLOW WHAT I'M SAYING?! UNTAPPED POTENTIAL, UNGUIDED EMOTION, PHYSICAL CONFRONTATION AND A LIFE THAT'S NOW TRANISHED... TIME LIKE THE JETSONS, PROGRAMMING INTO MILLENIUMS, EXPERIEMENTAL LAB RAT FOR REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, BUT YET I'M STILL NOT BROKEN... GREW UP IN THE SLUMS, UNNATURAL AS IT COMES... HARSH IS EVERY TEST, BUT NO ONE EVER STOPPED TO WONDER IF I HAVE POST TRAUMATIC STRESS... SO CAN YOU SEE ME NOW THAT I HAVE 25 YEARS TO LIFE??? COME ON TAKE A LOOK AT ME!!!
MY PSYCHE IS BEING TESTED AND NO ONE CAN HEAR MY FALL, BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE QUITE POSSIBLE THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE LISTENING. DAMN!!! HEARING A VOICE OTHER THAN MY OWN WOULD BE WONDERFUL... BUT CAN I REALLY DESCRIBE THE LONELY EXPERIENCES OF AN ISOLATED WORLD, WHEN I'VE SUPPOSEDLY DROWNED WITHIN THE FLUIDS OF MY OWN BRAIN? PSYCHOLOGICALLY DIAGNOSIS, FRAMED INSANE... THIS SYSTEM HAS ABSORBED ME ONLY FEEDING FROM UNCERTAINTIES OF INFORMATION DERANGED... SO, HOW CAN I TELL IF I'M STILL NORMAL WITHOUT A BETTER OPINION??? OPEN-MINDED NATURE PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR LIVELY HUMANITY, BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU I'M STUCK STRUGGLING LIKE A CHILD WHO'S LOST TRACK OF ITS PLACE IN TIME... WILL YOU USE YOUR CAMERA'S LENS AND DECLARE YOURSELF THE FILM, SO THAT I TOO MIGHT BECOME A FACE OF MEANING? OR HAVE I BEEN ANOTHER LOST CAUSE IN EXISTENCE??? HONESTLY, WHO REALLY DOES GIVE A DAMN...DO YOU???
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
I cannot erase the choices of my youth, because they've already taken place and I will forever be shadowed with the damages I've caused upon another. However, through maturity I want my time, talents and sacrifices to bring more to the world than what I've taken from it. Now with that being said...Is there more to life than the redundancies of barely human actions? Is there room for allowance to find and be inspired by good people? Is there any value left for the overlooked or are we still unimportant? Is there enough strength to withstand the obstacles of insecurities? Is there still hope and promise in the pits of unjust and despair? Will you peek into the deep and tell me what you see? Can you hear the cries that suffer underneath the stenches of wrong direction? Can you read the markings of the fallen adolescent? Can my potential be resourceful? Can you feel my sincerity since I've now become a man? If you have a voice...maybe it's time that we talk!!
This is a blog broadcasting the voice of Timmy Morgan, from Green Bay Correctional Institution. In this blog, Timmy expresses his life in prison. He went into prison when he was 16 years old, and is now a man. As Tim's former baseball coach and friend, I am helping him reach his goal of self-expression to the world. In his own words, "I want whatever will allow me to be out there in ways regardless of being physically restrained right now, so that people might come to know my voice on many different topics." The postings in this blog will solely be his words to the world. --Margie Cavolina